simple has been my motto around here lately along with “being all there” with avery, our family, and friends. wherever you are, be all there. being content is a challenge for me. i’m not sure if that is the same for most people, but for me i am normally focusing on whatever is “next,” whether that be a holiday, a vacation, wanting a new outfit, etc. pretty much the opposite of contentment. it must have something to do with being an only child and instant gratification but that is a theory for another post.
on top of all this my nose has been so far in my phone that i actually let avery fall down the stairs in our garage. i was showing brandon a picture we had taken earlier and thought avery could handle the stairs, but i was wrong. very wrong. he has a blue egg on his forehead to prove it too. what was so damn important on my phone that i would put avery’s safety in jeaopardy is beyond me. totally unacceptable. i know accidents happen and i can’t protect him from everything, but this was in my control, and i failed him. majorly. he could have seriously been hurt given that the blue egg came from our seven-foot metal ladder. totally unacceptable.
this is just one example of why i want to focus on contentment and being all there in my life this month. i have long struggled with the balance of social media and my “real life”. i think some people are just better at it than others and kudos to those that can have a healthy balance in their life. but i just had to do it. i had to take the plunge and cut myself off. and it was hard. and i think it will be hard. but, it’s a challenge that needs to happen in order to prove that that there is more to my life than comparing myself to others. because more often than not that is what was happening as i perused through facebook and instagram.
i think i have reasoned that it is the only way i keep in touch with family or some of my mom friends. but what a shitty excuse that is. is that what i’m going to teach avery, to facebook his friends instead of calling them or sending them a hand written note? how awful. any family and friends that we are truly as close to as we think won’t have any problems picking up the phone to send a text or make a phone call if they want to meet up and there’s nothing to say that i can’t put in a little extra effort to email my family pictures of avery instead of plastering them all over facebook. and maybe i’ll decide that i can have a healthy balance of social media in my life. but it won’t be all of social media. that is just too much, too much time, too much pressure to produce perfect pictures and a perfect family that doesn’t exist in any house in any part of the world.
i just don’t think i’m being the best version of myself when i use social media. and i actually think that it has truly changed the people we are to our core. we must keep aligned with our values and the values we want to pass on to our children. having what other people think of us at the forefront of our experiences is just not the way it should be. i shouldn’t always be thinking of my next status update or what picture i will post to present our family in the best possible light. that’s not reality and that’s not fair. from my blog you will know that i have no problems being honest and raw about my feelings and insecruities, but social media is just different. everyone puts their best face forward and you are left with a very vague and unrealistic picture of them and their family. it’s just not the way it should be.
i want avery to remember the imperfections and not because they are “posted” anywhere but because they are imprinted in his memories of our daily ins and outs. messy breakfasts, and playing outside, jamming out to christmas music in the living room, and a special gift waiting just for him on a random monday. he doesn’t need social media to know we love him or to help him make memories with our family. and i don’t want him to think that having your nose in your phone is normal, or needed, or really even acceptable.
so this month, i will be content, with what we have, with what we don’t have, with not checking facebook or instagram period (because they don’t exist anymore), with beautiful moments spent with my son, and hubby, and family, and friends. i have all i will ever need and it is right in front of my face i just have to open my eyes and see.
wherever you are, be all there.